The Trader Hoes T-Shirt takes that clean little grocery-store vibe and stuffs it full of bad decisions, cheap wine, and aisle-five eye contact. This Trader Hoes shirt sounds wholesome until your dirty brain loads the second half, then suddenly the shopping cart has commitment issues.

Call it a Trader Hoes graphic tee, funny grocery shirt, parody food shirt, or the official uniform of “I only came in for snacks and left with problems.” Organic? Probably not. Locally sourced? Depends who is texting back.